My Only Wish
by To-orima Nokurai
Summary: "Now that saying I love you might be too late... But still, I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone..." [kyoxtohru]


**My Only Wish** **_by Nokurai To-orima_**

**Disclaimer:** FB characters are the property of Natsuki Takaya. This storyline is only a product of my obsession in Fruits Basket, and being a no. 1 of Kyo x Tohru pairing. I do not own Fruits Basket. 

**Author's Notes:** Please enjoy the fic. I got this story from e-mail. I was so touched that I decided to make this into a Fruits Basket fic. This is a one shot story, just like the original. One last note, this is Kyo's point of view.

What can I say about a girl I loved since she first came into our house?

…That I love the way she laughs at simple gestures of friendship, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show? Somehow, I wished I could have told her that I love her but now there's no hope in doing so. For now, it's rather too late—too late for me to do so.  
  
She was my best friend in the whole world when we first met. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love. Even if she was carrying such heavy burdens of life, she still manages to smile sweetly.  
  
I could still remember the time when our family secret came out because of my own stupidity… and I don't want to admit to Yuki. I was really brash and violent then. It was one hot afternoon that I decided to beat up that bastard rat once and for all. I came crashing down the roof, not minding where I could've landed. At the sight of my mortal enemy, stretched my arms, "Yo… Have you've been waiting for me, your Highness?" I said sarcastically. 

"Everytime you come, you always make a mess," the mouse said in a calm way, "You are so weak. Why don't you just give up, baka neko?"

"Why you…!" I retorted, curling my fist into a ball, "I'm going to make you feel what I have felt last time! I'll crush that pretty face of yours!!!"

That moment triggered her to stop the fight. And to stop the fight, she needs to stop me. But instead, she slipped and accidentally hugged me in a brief moment. "I'm so sorry! Are you alright?!" She suddenly became flustered as she kept looking for a human, but the only thing she found was a cat. 

Her innocent mind immediately assumed that I turned into a cat because she touched a bad place… and she insisted that I needed a medical treatment. However, a piece of wood fell from the ceiling and bonked her on the head, making her sense of balance quaver at the moment. And within that moment, she landed on Yuki and Shigure, turning them into animals as well. I wanted to laugh when I remembered her face filled with shock when we began to talk… in animal form that is. At least Shigure was able to inform her about our curse. But suddenly my laugh wouldn't come out when I remembered the fact that I hated her presence in the house. 

But, I was glad when she accepted me… even if I tried to push her away. It was the time that I decided to fetch from her part time job. I… wanted to say sorry for the painful words I've lashed her with. Out of nowhere, as I was about to say something, she hit me with her schoolbag hard on my face. I thought it was something out of hatred, but it was because she thought I was a pervert… as she said. Then, it was followed lines that had imprinted in my brain from that moment until now.

"I like the cat in the Jyuunishi! I wanted to be born under the year of the cat!"

"I wanted to be friends!"

And that began our friendship.

We became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl with normal genes while I am a boy with a humongous problem in the genes. But it didn't seem to matter to her. All was she sees was the goodness of one's heart, and I was surprised that I had one. 

But what I loved most about her was how simple acts can make those pink lips to curve. I could remember the when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee and treated her to an ice cream, just to make her feel better. There was even a time when she hit a school window when she tried playing baseball and it was I who took the blame… voluntarily. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Tohru and I ended up having a bruised cheek. I remember her face as she was crying, as she placed an ice bag over the damaged cheek and later gave it a get-well kiss, which turned me into cat that knows how to blush. I did everything to please her and gave everything her innocent little heart desires.  
  
The lake was her favorite hang out. She usually walks there under the warm sunshine of the late afternoon of Saturdays. She would pack a little food and later eat them under the shade of the big oak tree. One time, she caught me passing by and invited me over. She was sitting on the branch in which, in my surprise, could support us. We then talked about what our dreams was. She knows my dream of beating Yuki one day, and she dreams to have a better life ahead. It was like her to say that. To be optimistic in life. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.  
  
As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. There was even a time in our usual Saturday talk wherein she accidentally lose her balance and began to fall off the branch, I caught her before she could land on the hard ground. For the briefest moment, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. Just wanting to hold her, and protect her. After I turned into a cat once more, she suddenly burst into tears and began to apologize a million times. Looking on how the wind played with her honey colored hair, I had no reason to get mad at her. "It's okay, don't worry about it." Her frown suddenly turned into a smile. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with her.   
  
Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was so afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.  
  
We reached the age of seventeen and I noticed that Tohru grew lovelier each day. Her brown hair was longer than before, as her eyes glimmered the innocent beauty she holds. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance to the angelic Tohru as she pass them by. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. But I have no right to do that. She deserves all the attention she can get. But there were times when I watch her at a distance mixed feelings of anger and hurt because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.  
  
Then one day, I just learned from the Psychic Girl that she already had a boyfriend. I was surprised at first because I couldn't imagine that her naïve mind would be able know the emotion called love. I wanted to laugh at it, but something in my mind told me that it isn't funny. The worst part is, her boyfriend was Sohma Yuki. My cousin and rival. He transferred away from Shigure's house for almost two years. He was a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. I was so mad at him and to myself. Why did he deserve her? Why not me?

Why not me?

When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him as she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God, how I love this girl."  
  
Then one faithful day they broke up. She came to my room that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up to their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was so bad because she is crying her out heart just for him. I was also so angry on how that nezumi had the guts to dump such a beautiful girl. But at that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.  
  
So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday talk, spending time in the branch where we talked about our dreams. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart.  
  
So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her how much I love her. So I just kept my feelings even it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.  
  
We were seated at the branch of an oak tree finishing up the last tuna sandwich she made when she brought up the subject about the JS Prom. "Ne, Kyo-kun, the prom is coming this Friday. Who's the lucky girl?"

"Lucky girl…?"

"Your date for the prom."

"Oh… ummm… I haven't got one. How about you?"

"Iie, I haven't got a date." She put her finger on her pink lips, "How about if we became partners?" she suggested.

My face suddenly became as red as the apple I'm eating. I was so shocked. It was like a dream to be her partner for the prom. At least even for once, I could hold an angel. "O-okay… if you say so…" Then she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turn red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run saying, "Last one to the house treats a sundae fudge!" I slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.  
  
Our prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. Shigure kept laughing at the sight of me. He was so surprised at the sight of me in formal attire. I hit him before I fetch Tohru at her room. Shigure, with visible bandages on his head, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Why don't you just go down to the living room and wait? I'll make a grant entrance for her." He said with a grin on his face.

I almost agreed but then again, it was Shigure suggesting the idea. "Why don't you just say that you wanted to see Tohru first? Or are you planning to do that perverse thing on your mind?" I said, a nerve throbbing on my temple. 

"Tsk, tsk… I just wanted to make a grand entrance. What do you say?"

"Fine! I'll go down!" I went down and sat on the couch in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was in the middle of my thoughts on how does she looks like when I heard her say, "Kyo-kun?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, " Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her.  
  
When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said," Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor.  
  
It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding emotion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most is that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I come close telling her, but still haven't done it.  
  
We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Uotani, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went and search for her.  
  
As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other. I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress Tohru was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.  
  
Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves that bastard mouse and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heartbreak. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then that was I thought the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.  
  
The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up education on sports at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she does it. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.  
  
So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from  
loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful   
one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.  
  
It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As  
I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her.  
  
I reached the house, I saw Shigure and I approached her. I smiled at him but I noticed that he wasn't his usual self. I was confused for he was used to be a cheerful man. I then asked, "Oi Shigure, I'm home. Where's Tohru?" All I saw was sadness in his eyes as he replied quietly "Come follow me."  
  
I was confused with the way he's acting but still I followed him. Then I realized that he was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree Tohru and I used to climb up and chat our dreams away. I smiled upon remembering the kiss she gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed her more than I thought. Then Shigure stopped walking and pointed to the tree. He then whispered, "There she is."  
  
I looked at where he was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.   
  
I stared at him in disbelief with eyes searching for explanations and slowly started saying, "It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you, Kyo. It was even your name she uttered before  
she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regard this place as a place of dreams. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." He handed me a parcel and with that he left me.  
  
I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading…  
  


  
Kyo-kun,  
              I know by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Kyo-kun, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life as when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you are with me. When you are away, I can't stop crying because I'm afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel. Each time you had protected me from harm was like a dream coming true for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think myself unloved by you. Well you might  
think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love.  
  
I know you might be thinking of Yuki but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the naïve little girl. Yuki agreed to help me, even though I know that it was against his will. I told him how much I love you. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Yuki and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted to desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Yuki came and asked me if there was happening between us, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him the whole situation. What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl. So I just turned away and left.  
  
Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.  
  
Always, Honda Tohru  
  
P.S.  
Think of me sometimes… and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.  
  
  
I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven… please grant…"

"…my only wish…"

**† End †**


End file.
